The headline is based upon a quote by Johnny Depp, who said “The only gossip I’m interested in is things from the Weekly World News – ‘Woman’s bra bursts, 11 injured’. That kind of thing.” And it sums up perfectly how I feel about the annual announcement that Victoria’s Secret has unveiled yet another diamond studded brazier for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
While the idea of designing a bra embedded with diamonds might have been considered innovative and interesting the first time it was done, they’ve done it so many times now that the entire concept has become Blasé, or perhaps Brasé would be more appropriate. Every year the same upheaval in the press, “Oh look it’s another diamond studded bra! Whoo-hoo!” You’ve got to be kidding me. It’s nothing more than a stupid bra, studded with diamonds, a relatively expensive, but cheap publicity stunt.
The latest version of the Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra legacy is the “Fireworks Fantasy Bra” [GAG ME] which reportedly took 685 hours to make, and contains 6,500+ precious gems. It features spark-like bursts which incorporate fourteen different types of precious gems, including gems like blue topaz, yellow sapphire, garnet, and 375+ carats of diamonds, set in 18k gold. The fantasy bra (they’ve got that right) was designed by Mouawad and will be worn by Victoria’s Secret Angel Lily Aldridge.
Admittedly this is a publicity stunt that seems to work, but at this point it is completely lacking in originality. I can only imagine what it must be like to be a fly on the wall inside the office of the Creative Director for Victoria’s Secret, as they prepare for next year’s upcoming Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
“So what do you think we should do this year?” [Sound of Crickets Chirping, Chirp. Chirp. CHIRP] Suddenly a hand meekly raises towards the ceiling from the far side of the conference table… “What about a diamond studded bra?” The crowd goes wild. The idea is earth shattering. Ignoring the fact that they’ve been running with the same gig since 1996, the creative director excitedly exclaims “Let’s go with it! Quick. Call Mouawad” (again).
And why shouldn’t they? The Diamond Bra from Victoria’s Secret gets a lot of publicity, it goes on tour and generates more publicity, it sparks articles like this, which good, bad, or indifferent, create even more publicity for the Victoria’s Secret brand of lingerie. But at the end of the day, all of the diamonds are removed from the bra, and set into practical jewelry that can actually be worn in the real world.
I for one am not impressed with “jewelry” or “lingerie” this ridiculous. I would much rather be presented with a beautiful piece of functional jewelry or lingerie that I can wear, instead of some stupid diamond studded garment, which is unwearable under any piece of clothing. Then again, if some stupid guy wants to present me with a two million dollar diamond studded bra as a gift, I would surely accept it, and then rip the diamonds out of that sucker so that they may be put to better use.
Admittedly the fastest way to remove the diamonds from the bra is probably just to burn it, the diamonds would surely survive, the gold could be recovered, and it’s a symbolic gesture that sums up how I feel about the entire situation.
Read the Full Story in Vogue
Photograph by Guy Aroch / Courtesy of Victoria’s Secret / Vogue