Will buying a diamond get you out of hot water?

Will buying a diamond get you out of hot water?

Category:

Diamonds

In what just might be the boldest and possibly most dubious marketing campaign in the history of diamonds, Opulent Jewelers of Pennsylvania is offering a promotion to victims of the online dating service Ashley Madison which was hacked recently, exposing the details of millions of people seeking extra marital affairs to who knows what.

“While we don’t condone cheating, we’re a company that is no stranger to helping countless husbands and boyfriends stuck in the dog house looking for a get out of jail free card. So all you mischievous people out there not able to sleep at night perhaps you should give us a call and see what we can do to sort you out.” said a spokesperson for Opulent Jewelers.

Anyone who spends more than $10,000.00 with Opulent Jewelers will receive a $500 discount coupon for using the promotional code “JUSTINCASE” and the company has indicated that one coupon has already been redeemed towards the purchase of a $15,000.00 item. Although they are not sure whether it was used by a customer who was actually affected by the Ashley Madison dating site hack, or simply a customer who was already going to purchase from them and simply took advantage of the available discount.

But one does have to wonder how that person will go about explaining his use of the coupon code that is intended for “victims” of the Ashley Madison dating site hack, since the web site is well known for targeting people who are in search of extra marital affairs. “Uh gee honey, I’m not actually a member of Ashley Madison, I would never cheat on you… I just happened to hear about the discount code and thought hey, five hundred bucks is five hundred bucks!”

Opulent jewelers offers discount to victims of Ashley Madison dating site hack, photo courtesy of IDEXI have to admit, I can’t blame a guy for taking advantage of a $500 discount, but you’d better believe that it raises a red flag or two in my mind. “Just In Case” just in case of what? You actually get caught being a total scum bag and need to buy your way out of hot water with a diamond ring? Oh buddy, you’d better believe that is only the tip of the iceberg. And do you really think that I’m going to be impressed by the fact that you only bought the ring from Opulent Jewelers because they were offering a discount coupon? For being a lying sack of excrement? Game on buddy, game on. You’d better wrap that ring up in those Five Crisp Benjamin’s because you’re going to need them as a down payment for the divorce attorney. You can pick them up off the ground after I throw them and the ring in your face.

“They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend so with our help we can at least keep you from living out of a hotel for the next few months,” the company said in a press release. I suppose that is one way to look at it, but I’d be more likely to sell the ring on I Do Now I Don’t and then use the funds to buy a truly spectacular Crafted by Infinity Diamond. After all, diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but if you’re using Ashley Madison to look for “new friends” while in a relationship with me, then any ring that you present me with, is one friend that I don’t need hanging around to remind me of you. As if…

Read the Full Story on IDEX.
Photo courtesy of IDEX.

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